The White Apologist: “I’m so, so sorry for what my ancestors did to yours, man! It really breaks me down sometimes thinking about how despicable we were to you guys! Please forgive us!”
The Faux-Humanist: “Stop talking about race. We’re all just human.”
The Martin-Lover: “Yeah, but didn’t Martin Luther King say to judge people not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character! I have a dream today!”
The Lord of the Fee-Fees: “Don’t you understand how your comments about what SOME White people do are offensive to me and hurt my feelings? Not all of us are racist! By pointing out my “privilege”, you are spreading hate!”
The Wonderful White Friend: “I’m not racist, some of my best friends are Arabs!”
The Nigger-Lover: “Why can’t I say nigger? I saw it on the Boondocks! Why can’t I say nigger? Eminem’s a rapper! Why can’t she say nigger? What if she married a Black man? Why can’t she say nigger? What if he was adopted by a Black family?”
The Pea-Brained Peacemaker: “Maybe if you people weren’t so harsh and hostile, White people would want to listen to you? Try being a little calmer next time, why don’t you?”
The Silly Bitch: “I don’t care what you say, nigger isn’t a racist word. NIGGER.”
The Annoying White Feminist: ”I think our shared experiences as women are more important than race at this time, look at the bigger picture! Woman is the nigger of the world, and I have a right to say it, you colored women are just being divisive!”
The Reverse Race Specialist: “How come there are no historically white colleges? REVERSE RACISM!”
The Slave-Thrower: “Everybody was enslaved, not just you guys!”
The Fool: “I know you were fired from your modeling job because the casting agent said you didn’t ‘have the look’ and you were passed over for the job by ten other White models, but I don’t think this has anything to do with racism!”
The Colorblind Crook: “I don’t see color! There’s no difference at all between the races, we’re all the same deep down!”
The Bleeder: “Racism wouldn’t exist if you stopped talking about it. WE ALL BLEED RED!”
"The Bleeder" is also known as the "Morgan Freeman Effect".
i’m shaking because these are all really fucking true and i literally know at least one person to fit each one of these.
This is brilliant, especially “The Lord of the Fee-Fees.”
Prays that she’s not one of these…
OMG FUCK YOU YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT DISNEY MOVIES WERENT CREATED FOR YOU THEY WERE CREATED FOR KIDS SORRY IF THEY DONT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS FUCK YOU
Asketh - Anonymous
Once upon a time I was babysitting my 12 year-old cousin and I took her to the mall for food and window shopping. This was around the time Enchanted came out so of course the walls were lined with Giselle. Not that I particularly minded, Enchanted was a good film.
So at any rate, I was casually browsing some of the outfits they had out and pick out this pink sparkly dress meant to be Aurora’s. I said, “Hey, Destiny, why don’t you wear this for Halloween?”
I should note I was just joking because this was the age where she was rebelling against dresses but rather than to comment on that she simply replied with, “That isn’t for me.”
I thought she was talking about the fact that I was holding up a dress so I pressed on, “Aw why not? C’mooon! I’m sure it’ll look great on you! Oh we could get you a nice tiara and sparkly heels-“
But she shook her head and went, “That’s only for white girls.”
Of course it was the initial line that took me by surprise, but even moreso was the sheer matter-of-factness that was in her voice. She wasn’t even fazed by it and talked as if was telling me some fact that I must have missed in a memo.
She went on to look at the TV screen but I kept going through the outfits thinking that maybe Jasmine or Pocahontas or Mulan would work, but that wasn’t the problem.
The problem IS that she is the so-called target audience for a store in which she found nothing for her and she accepted it as a fact.
The problem IS that all of this princess stuff isn’t FOR her.
The problem IS that I went through this revelation when I was her age and I thought that it would have ended a long time ago.
The problem IS that they rejoiced in Tiana only to get three more non-POC princesses.
And the problem is that all of this will CONTINUE to be and I just don’t know if I would be able to stand watching my two year-old niece realize this herself.
Because we’re Mexican, we’re mixed, we’re African-American, but most importantly we’re not white.
So you know what? No. Fuck YOU.
Because I WAS a kid. These princess movies WERE created for me, my cousins, my niece, and damn near every other little girl I have know in my lifetime.
And we were NEVER a part of their formula.
We are NEVER going to be a part of their formula.
I’m sick of this shit. I want to see this shit change and I’m not going to sit around waiting for it to change.
I am going to raise hell and I will bust my ass through school and I will get my degree and I will get into the animation industry and I will fight my absolute hardest to help in the change because if there’s one thing I never want to see again is a kid questioning why movies refuse to acknowledge their existence.
So you sit the fuck down and you shut the fuck up and you go through hearing this shit from four different kids and then you see if you can get off your fucking ass and say that shit to me again.
“This is the chemical formula for love:
dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin.
It can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
Let that sink in.”
Why do black people only hang with black people?
Asketh - Anonymous
c’mere! shhhhhhhh. i’m only telling you, white anon. don’t tell anyone else because i’ll get in trouble.
black people only hang out with black people because it’s in the black bylaws. In the ThreeM Constitution (Malcolm, Martin, Marvin) signed by the three leaders in the back of the Apollo theatre with old fried chicken bones sharpened and dipped in the ink from the oil of mother Africa, we black people pledged to stick together and declare a silent war against the whites.
you see, black people only hang with black people because we are heading back and forth to our all black meetings where we plan our attacks. yes, attacks. once a week, a Nigga Nation (a cluster of black folk, usually between 20-25 persons) are required by Black Law to decimate at least ten whites persons over the age of 18. We kidnap most of them and send them back where they came from (usually Sweden) and threaten to murk their families if they ever return on Black American soil.
that’s as much as i can tell you for now without compromising our next hit. the only way to fend off these attacks are to promise you’ll never use the ‘n word’, you’ll never twerk or use the word ‘twerk’ again, and swear allegiance to our overlord, Oprah Winfrey.
i can only hope and pray this keeps you safe for awhile longer, white anon.